Monday, November 21, 2011

In breaking news, officials have announced that a search and rescue party has been sent into the barren wilderness that is Isaac Luke’s brain in a desperate bid to locate his remaining two active brain cells.

This after Luke claimed in a Sunday Paper that he deliberately tried to break Rangi Chase’s leg in the Kiwi’s match with England last weekend.

No news as yet has come to hand on whether there has been any success with their highly improbable mission, particularly after sources have confirmed their shock upon entering said winter waste land and discovering inordinately large amounts of toxic debris floating around aimlessly.

What could Luke possibly have been thinking?

Sure, he was upset that Chase - his cousin - had decided to throw his lot in with England instead of making himself available for the Kiwis.

But that doesn’t justify the use of thuggery on a football field. And if Luke would commit such an act against a relation, one hates to ponder what he would be prepared to do to an ordinary foe.

News is seeping out that officials fear the worst and an extended search will now be required. Searchers are known to have entered the red zone armed as rumours circulate that said brain cells are believed to be of a resistant type to any form of calm and rational solution to the problem.

Apparently Luke is unaware of the right of the individual within a democracy to live their life as they choose. In this case, if Chase decides to play for England, then that is his prerogative. After all, we do live in the age of the professional. And in reality, his path to a place in the Kiwis is blocked by the likes of Benji Marshall, Kieran Foran and Shaun Johnson.

If Luke had stopped to consider Chase’s perspective on the situation, he would have come to the same conclusion that Chase obviously did; that the chances of Chase playing for New Zealand were next to none.

Good on him for chasing an opportunity to play International Rugby League.

Meanwhile in breaking news, Isaac Luke has been nominated for the 2011 goose of the year award. Keen observers of numbskull behaviour are said to rate Luke’s chances of taking out the title as extremely high.

In terms of delving deeply into the murky depths of the moronic, he will take some stopping. He has achieved the right to become a laughing stock for idiocy.

What he attempted was exceedingly dangerous. That he could have caused a serious injury goes without saying.

Worse, what kind of mind sets out to intentionally harm someone?

As Mark Twain once said, “every man is a moon: he has a dark side that he doesn’t want anyone to see”.

Well Luke sure has a dark side. Though it seems he doesn’t mind if the world sees it. Or perhaps he just didn’t stop to think that it would have been wise to keep his dark side covered up.

To come out and publically admit to intentionally trying to maim another shows, at the very least, naivety if not downright stupidity. As the saying goes, it is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and to remove any doubt.

For Luke to take offence at Chase’s decision is nothing more than delving into the petty on his part. Instead of being happy for Chase, he took the low road and made it personal.

A person of considerable maturity would have gone to Chase, told him that he disagreed with his decision to play for England, and then wish him well in his endeavours.

But then that is what a mature person would do. Luke does not appear to possess such maturity.

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